TO DIE GAME! Let's Play Transformers: Mystery of Convoy!

(EPILEPSY WARNING)


Stage 1: Wilderness Area
OR: Puttin' Our Worst Foot Forward



The game starts in a way very similar to Super Mario Bros., with Ultra Magnus coming from the left on a horizontal playing field with the finest 8-bit scenery a 1986 Famicom game could provide.



Ultra Magnus can perform a high, floaty jump with a press of the A Button. His trajectory can be altered slightly in midair. His sprite, like most of the character art in the game, uses transparent areas for its negative space, which causes him to feel somewhat insubstantial against the backdrops.

The B Button fires a small, white bullet forward from about the level of Ultra Magnus' chest. He can fire these about as fast as you can hit the button.



Pressing Down on the D-Pad transforms Ultra Magnus into his car carrier mode. In this mode, he has two modes of firing, but we'll get into those later.

So who is this Ultra Magnus guy, anyway?



He was one of the larger figures released in the 1986 lineup, was introduced first in the Transformers animated film, and was also one of the last of the G1 Transformers based on a design from the Diaclone line. He's supposed to be massive and powerful, which is why his quick and repeated deaths in Mystery of Convoy come as such a shock.

The very first enemy you face in this game is also one of its deadliest.



So the manual doesn't really describe the characters' behaviors in the game - it just has brief recaps of the toy/cartoon personalities. We all know Starscream, right? He's the guy what has a screechy voice and was the subject of nearly every thirsty fanfic circa 1997~present. Here's his Hasbro bio:



Anyway, in Mystery of Convoy, Starscream swoops down in a decreasing arc toward Ultra Magnus, shooting tiny single-pixel bulets in his direction. It's these bullets that will nearly always end your first life, because they're so tiny that they're very difficult to see against the mountains.



Worse, Starscream takes two hits to kill - the first hit simply causes him to transform into robot mode and descend to the ground, marching to the left. In this form, he's too short to hit with your normal bullet, so you're likely to run into him.

Starscream is almost always best jumped over or avoided entirely.



Walking a bit further, the next enemy you encounter is "Gospu," little snail-like things that float up and down. These guys can't be destroyed, but a single shot will render them inert, and in this state they can be climbed on top of without harm.

However, it's hard to hit them, as Ultra Magnus' bullets have a tiny hitbox.



Continuing a bit further, you'll encounter a couple more common enemies. The tank on the ground is likely Blitzwing, the triple-changing Jet-Tank commando. He's not called out in the manual, so this is just guesswork based on his color scheme and what the wiki claims.



Blitzwing just trundles forward. He doesn't shoot, and he doesn't transform.

The other combatant here is another version of Starscream (or maybe it's one of the other jet guys, but the sprite is the same). These appear in every stage, and unlike their brethren, they don't transform, they don't fire, and they always fly in a straight line.

These guys are important, because they always drop Energon Cubes. No, they don't look like cubes, but that's what the manual calls them.



Energon Cubes give Ultra Magnus various power-ups. The "P" symbol here apparently stands for "Power," because it powers up his gun.



When powered up, Magnus' gun fires in two directions, both in robot and trailer modes. You'll also notice in that gif that there are other hidden power-ups that appear when certain areas are shot - these are worth points and nothing more.

The power-ups that come out of most planes seem to be random.



The "1" is worth an extra life.



The "D" cancels all your current power-ups. Bogus.



Past the first couple brigades of Starscreams, Blitzwings, and Gospus, you'll run into another enemy type, "Crack." These crawdad-lookin' guys float up and down in a wobbly sine-wave, shooting bullets at Ultra Magnus. They're hard to predict and avoid.



In the back third of the stage, there's one flier that always drops this "R" symbol. It doesn't seem to do anything. Wonder what it means?



As the stage ends, you run into these two dumbbell-looking things that float down at a diagonal angle.

Before we go to the boss, let's talk for a minute about the design of this first stage. This game has a miserable reputation, and in my opinion, this level has a LOT to do with it. It cuts you no corners in learning the controls, immediately slaughtering you with enemies that seem faster and better than you in every way.

Despite this game being a "platformer," the first stage has no platforms to speak of. It's just a long march of death. And surprisingly, the game has a lot more to offer than this! It's just a mystery (of Convoy) as to why the developers thought this would be a good way to introduce their game.

And just to put a cherry on top of all this weirdness, the best way to play the first stage is totally counter-intuitive. With all the enemies flying in at weird angles, you would think the best thing would be to carefully inch forward and take each out in turn. And that's a great strategy for most of the levels in this game.

Not the first.

You just run forward and shoot constantly, jumping only to clear the Blitzwings. You'll survive without a scratch nearly every time.

Anyway, let's meet our first boss.



This is "Devil Star," one of several boss characters fully original this game. (The manual even has a paragraph helpfully informing players that many of the Decepticons in this game are not Takara products.)

Devil Star fires little bug-like craft in a steep sine-wave from right to left. They lazily pursue Ultra Magnus, making it difficult to predict their motion.

But whatever. Devil Star is really easy. It takes about four or five shots to the flashing "eye" to take it down. The complex layout of platforms indicate that the designers thought you might want to position yourself carefully to return fire at Devil Star. For example, you may be tempted to transform into truck mode to make use of its vertical shot, and take out Devil Star from underneath.

But it's way easy just to stand on the platform next to Devil Star's core and hit it point-blank. The little drone guys will usually go around you.

(EPILEPSY WARNING)




NEXT: ACTUAL LEVEL DESIGN!?

This game looks awful.

I'm hyped.

Seconded. Curious to see actual platforming cause all the footage I've seen is the first level.

This LP is transforming into something amazing!

- Eddie

Loving this so far, looking forward to the rest.

I’ve often considered this to be an unfairly difficult Ghosts n Goblins knockoff. With the full implications of everything that statement means in full effect.

So I am okay with being proven wrong.

This is wonderful and great! I love the stupid back of the package stat graphs. I hope these are photos from your own collection and not from some *spits* wiki.

The lack of a consistent transformer scale is disturbing Dracula.

I always get the impression that Famicom fans have an knowingly unhealthy relationship of this game.

Drac sat Johnny and I down in front of this supposed hate crime to play it on his Famicom when we had our meet-up last month, and we both had fun playing it! No foolin'!

I think I do have the bio cutouts of those particular characters, but these scans came from another source.

But don't worry. We'll have our share of TFwiki references during the life of this LP.

It'll hurt less if you let go of your small, human concept of scale, False.



Unlearn what you have learned

WE GET ALONG JUST FINE

Well, I did had fun, but I wouldn't call it a fun game. For me, it was more the fun at the disbelief of a ridiculously punishing game that was aimed at kids who wanted to play as the truck man and how it basically punished you for choosing to turn into a truck. It was a merciless game with a surprisingly easy boss. It was a fascinating play, but I don't think I'd ever have any desire to pick it up again, unless I was one of those gamers searching for a high level challenge. I am not that kind of gamer.

But I didn't hate it and I was too amused at its audacious hardness to be mad at it. It's actually a playable game. The ones that get me mad are the ones with unworkable controls where I can't figure out what I'm doing. Also, I recently learned what a MOBA is and... if they are all like DOTA 2 and Awesomenauts, they aren't for me.

Stage 2: TEMPLE RUINS
Or: Platforming!?

The aesthetic of Stage 2 is gray bricks and pillars against a blue, starry sky. The simple background makes it easier to see enemy bullets than the first stage, and the variety of elevations also make it easier to plan your movements.



It's also still just as easy to die!



Particularly because Magnus' momentum is a bit slippery and sadly, jumping on an enemy's head doesn't kill them.



Still, taking the higher route in the start of this stage is the best approach, and lets us snag a power-up from a passing Starscream. Fortunately this one is the "P" upgrade.





The "P" helps us get past another swooping Starscream, pick up another "P," and take out a Crack before its wobbly pattern gets too confusing.



This Starscream always drops this red letter. Hm. This one is an "O." I wonder why the letter is different.



Past here we can see just how nice it is to have that "P" upgrade. We take out some more Cracks and nab an extra life from another Starscream.



Here you'll notice that the point-ups that appear in the sky can also be destroyed with bullets. This would be distressing if they were important.



This is probably the trickiest part of the stage (if you aren't going for a certain secret).



These orange saucer-shaped ships swoop down to Magnus' level when you get near them. If you transform, they don't go low enough to hit him.

But wait a sec. Did you notice something funny?



Hasbro Bio:



EPILEPSY WARNING


If you manage to destroy it before it flies off the screen...



...Bumblebee appears and warps you ahead a couple of stages! Bumblebee's appearance in this game is teased in the manual:

Hasbro bio:

By the way, it's ridiculously hard to catch Skywarp before he flies away. I didn't make a gif of all the times I failed to do this. And in case you're wondering, yes, I'm definitely using save states for this LP, but I have beaten it on hardware. There's a certain trick that makes this way easier than you might think. We'll get to that soon.



Anyway, past the area where you find Skywarp, there's a high road and a low road. The low road lets you get past the saucers more easily, but leads you to a corridor where a turret will almost certainly take you out before you have a chance to transform and shoot it.



The high road is a bit safer. The saucers won't fly up to hit Magnus.



These swooping dumbbells signal the end of the level. Time for a boss battle!

STAGE 2 BOSS:
DOUBLE DEVIL STAR



















So, yes - here's the trick I mentioned. Boss battles seem to count as their own stages (even removing any power-ups Magnus might have when entering), so the continue code will load you right into the beginning of the battle. If you've cleared a stage, you'll never have to clear it again.



Anyway, Double Devil Star doesn't pose much greater of a challenge than single Devil Star. The first eye can be easily shot at point-blank range.



And the second as well. And we're done with Stage 2!

Next: THE TIME TUNNEL

Oh wow I didn’t realize this LP was going to be a showcase for all your robot toys. Sky Link is very strange.

Bumblebee’s sprite is lovely. Gimme that little bug forever.

Why did they turn BB from a good bug to a sports car in the movies?

I gotta remember to only read this thread when I have a stable internet connection. I was very curious why none of your screenshots matched the text, until I realized they were all frozen gifs.

Sky Lynx, you philistine. His name denotes a respectable peerage you would only enhance your life to learn more about.

The squid is right-- stop talking shit about Sky Zelda.

Sky Lynx is a beautiful boy and here is why

For some reason, I can only imagine saying Sky Lynx the way Patton Oswalt screams sky cake.

I <3 Sky Lynx

As I understand it, it's not just the movies that did this. Apparently, Volkswagen doesn't want their brand to be associated in any way with military hardware and vehicles ever again, and actually demanded that the toy makers stop presenting the character as a VW Bug. He's been a variety of different cars in different iterations of the property ever since.

Dinosaur... electrons?

What did you think dinosaurs are made out of?

Wolf, I think you're correct. Up until the release of the Masterpiece Bumblebee figure (the one in my photos above), new Bumblebee figures hadn't been released in a Volkswagen format since...1989, I think.

Fictional versions of him have fluctuated between sports cars, Beetles, and Beetle-esque compacts. I'm not sure if the 2007 design had more to do with the issue with licensing VW vehicles as war toys, Paramount's licensing deal with GMC, Michael Bay just thinking a compact or VW would be lame, or a combination of all three. At any rate there is a scene early in the '07 movie where Sam is looking for a car to buy, briefly examines a VW, and then the real Bumblebee, disguised nearby, subtly manipulates Sam to choose him by blasting out the VW's windows with a sonic attack.

Anyway the upcoming Bumblebee movie at the end of this year will have movie 'bee take the form of a VW. It's also being directed by Travis Knight, which means it's the first TF movie I've been excited about in...10 years? Wow.

He should be a classic Fiat 500 and nothing else.

this goes for all cars as well

Those are the most awesome Transformers toys I've ever seen, Drac.

And this game...uh...well at least the franchise eventually received good games, right?

Actually a Fiat 500 would work great for Cliffjumper.

Let's see where our mystery-solvin' Magnus is headed next!



Stage 3: TIME TUNNEL I



So Stage 3 is the first of several vertical stages in Mystery of Convoy. These are notable for a few reasons:

• They're pretty easy.
• They give us some good chances to use our alternate mode.
• There are no Starscreams, and therefore, no power-ups, including the mysterious letters we've been finding.

Walking right drops us down to the stage's bottom level. This Time Tunnel is an ascending stage, and falling into the gap at the bottom means instant death.



Transforming into truck mode lets us use our overhead shot, which is great for taking out these bat dudes...hey wait a minute! That's a lil' cassette tape!

The manual says the game has an appearance from Laserbeak, one of Soundwave's tape minions.



In the original cartoon, Laserbeak was most frequently deployed to spy on the Autobots. He had a camera in his head and a bad attitude. His bird brother, Buzzsaw, was the one designated as a spy in the toyline, but he almost never showed up in the cartoon. Maybe Laserbeak killed him and took his job.

Here's what the manual says about him:

Anyway, this orange bat thing looks nothing at all like Laserbeak, but whatever. It flies slowly back and forth, and despite the manual's line about laser guns, doesn't shoot at all. It takes several shots from your gun, then forcibly reverts to cassette mode, where it is harmless. I believe it can't ever be fully destroyed.



Above Laserbeak is the first of the turrets which are probably the most dangerous enemies in the Time Tunnel. They shoot bullets directly at Ultra Magnus, and are usually situated in places that make it hard to fire at them without being in range of their shots.



This is the kind of thing that usually happens with them.



If we can maneuver above them, we can make use of Magnus' forward shot in vehicle mode, which has greater power than his regular gun, and travels in a gentle downward arc. (Probably it's meant to be his missile launchers, which despite being one of his defining features, were rarely used in the cartoon.)

Anyway one shot from the launchers will take out these guns.



Next there's another gauntlet of turrets and Laserbeaks.



This turret is really easy to take out, but you have to destroy it to continue upward. If you don't, it might get a shot at you as you pass over it.



These turrets do nothing but fire slow, horizontal shots. You would have to go out of your way to get killed by this one, but it may be placed there to give you a warning that you'll be seeing more, in more dangerous positions, soon.



We narrowly survive another homing turret.



Now, there's a second horizontal turret, but this time, it's positioned in a tight spot. The bullets have about a half-screen's worth of range, and you have to get just within that range to trade shots with it successfully. It's a nice little moment of tension.



Following, there are two nigh-identical arrays of turrets and Laserbeaks, each ending in a narrow jump with these floating guys blocking them.

It's obviously easiest to shoot them in vehicle mode, so the game is actively encouraging you to try out Magnus' other firing modes here. It feels gentle and hand-holdy compared to what we've already seen in this game!



Here's the end of the stage. For some reason it's hard to get the right timing to climb up on this platform. There's another useless turret off to the right - probably more of a reuse of assets than anything else.

And through the exit we find...





YEP. Destron Mark, as it's known, is a Decepticon faction symbol with a bad attitude. It fires projectiles in a lazy sine wave just like Devil Star, and is even easier to approach on the slow-moving floating platforms.

All it takes is a short hop forward and a few shots, and...

EPILEPSY WARNING







NEXT: HYPERSPACE

This game has the worst/best boss fights.